My Fake Interview with a Christian extremist

In an editorial last week, Robert Knight blamed gay marriage for terrorism, prisoner abuse, and the murder of Nick Berg.

"We were told that men "marrying" men and women "marrying" women is inevitable – not only for America, but for the world. Imagine how those images of men kissing men outside San Francisco City Hall after being "married" play in the Muslim world. We couldn't offer the mullahs a more perfect picture of American decadence. This puts Americans at risk all over the world... ...isn't it time for liberals to apologize for systematically aiding and abetting the cultural depravity that produced the Iraq scandal?

These are some strong assertions. Not one to back down from controversy, I'd like to dig a little deeper and see what Mr. Knight is all about. In the spirit of dishonesty, propaganda, and hate-mongering, I'd like to introduce:

The responses to my questions are actual quotes taken completely out of context from the article. Let's begin.

EAS: First of all, Mr. Knight, thank you for posting your editorial online. It makes it very easy to take your words out of context. Where else can the average person find your regular writing?
RK: Easy. It's found on thousands of Internet porn sites and in the pages of "gay" publications.

EAS: That's terrific. You've worked with issues of sex and sexuality for many years. I'm wondering, how would you propose that America fix the shortage of really good head?
RK: Fines have not done enough...The American people should start by getting on their knees.

EAS: So you'd agree that bad blow jobs are a perennial problem in American culture?
RK: It's past time to get serious about this moral cancer that is destroying our nation.

EAS: Who would you say is to blame for the low standard that has been set for fellatio?
RK: Christian missionaries who are trying to bring the Gospel to people trapped in darkness for millennia.

EAS: It was said somewhere that you often had trouble "rising to the occasion" in the bedroom in the past. How are things lately?
RK: Finally showing signs of life, thanks to Democrat Commissioner Michael Copps and Republican Commissioner Kevin Martin.

EAS: They truly are an inspiration. What else caused this turn-around in your libido?
RK: Those images of men kissing men outside San Francisco City Hall.

EAS: Last Spring, you posted a fake or 'hypothetical' interview with Rep. Barney Frank on the Concerned Women for America site. It's been a terrific inspiration for me personally. How often does CFWA use fake interviews to get a point across?
RK: It's standard fare among some of their more active supporters.

EAS: Thank you, Mr. Knight, for being here. Is there anything else you'd like to add?
RK: The "Howard Stern Show" is appropriate at all times, regardless of whose kid is listening.

EAS: Amen.