"give & recieve when time allows"

Why, oh why do closeted married men think it's ok to fuck around with other men?

Take this winner from Gay.com

"More about me
I enjoy Gay sex (oral)give & recieve when time allows. Since I'm Bi and the wife does not know, timing can be difficult sometimes. I'm definetly not a kisser with men."

I run into this constantly, and it makes me furious. I understand being in the closet and having to bow to community norms forces many queers into false marriages. I also understand that many men realize their queer sexuality later in life. Such are the pains of living in a heteronormative world.

However, cheating is lying and lying is bad. Adultery is still adultery regardless of the gender of the 'other' person. This behavior contributes to the rise of STDs among heterosexual women. And when HIV is involved, it's a lie that can kill.

For closeted men who are married and want to "give & recieve when time allows" with other men: tell your wife. One of two things will happen. She will leave you, allowing you to 'give & recieve when time allows' without lying or she will understand and relieve you of your promise of monogamy.

I've seen the latter situation before. A spouse allows the other to endulge in side relationships because the emotional bond is what keeps the marriage together.

Not everyone wants or needs a 'gay' identity. And many folks are still struggling with the closet. But putting unsuspecting loved ones in harms way, just to "give & recieve when time allows" is dangerous and irresponsible.