December 23, 2006
Disco Santa 2006: The War on Christmas with Michele Bachmann
Disco Santa caught up with Representative-elect Michele Bachmann to discuss the "War on Christmas." Bachmann, a staunchly conservative Christian, has never done any Christmas defending, but if given the chance, we're sure she would. Disco Santa and Michele Bachmann sat down for custard to discuss the issue. (All quotes by Michele Bachmann are real! The contaxt is not).
Disco Santa: Hello Michele. Mrs. Disco Claus sends her best.
Michele Bachmann: Isn't she a cupcake? She's such a delight.
Disco Santa: Well, thanks. I think... So, Michele. You're going to Congress. How are things now that you've been elected?
Michele Bachmann: It’s a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think.
Disco Santa: That sounds terrible. Why do you think that is?
Disco Santa: Hmmm. That's unfortunate. But, let's get to the topic at hand. How about this "War on Christmas." Do you feel the secularization of the holiday season is dangerous to America, as Bill O'Reilly says?
MB: He's so buff. He's like you, [Santa], he has 1 percent body fat.
DS: But the War on Christmas?
MB: We can't remove any option off the table and we should not remove the nuclear response.
DS: That seems a bit extreme don't you think? We should bomb secular people?
DS: Hmmm. I think that's a bit of a stretch. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?
MB: I hate any tax there is out there!
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