Archbishop: Treat Gays as You Would Evangelicals

The Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis has clarified its debate-inspiring message about homosexuality: love the sinner, but hate the sin -- the same way you would an evangelical Christian family member.

The archdiocese promised to become more conservative when Archbishop John Nienstedt was appointed by Pope Benedict XVI to succeed outgoing Archbishop Harry Flynn. But not only has it become more conservative, it's also become more vocal -- not mincing words and always having the last say.

Controversy erupted in November, when Nienstedt wrote, "Those who actively encourage or promote homosexual acts or such activity within a homosexual lifestyle formally cooperate in a grave evil and, if they do so knowingly and willingly, are guilty of mortal sin."

Nienstedt was responding to complaints by church members of the cancellation of a talk by Carol Curoe and her father at the Church of St. Francis Cabrini in Minneapolis. Curoe is a lesbian and her father, Bob, is an Iowa farmer in his 80s and supportive of his daughter's relationship and family. Together they wrote a book about their family. According to the archdiocese, hosting the event on church property would imply the church's approval of Carol's relationship.

Nienstedt's words seemed to be more harsh than the typical Catholic teaching on homosexuality. Instead of the usual "love the sinner, hate the sin," Nienstedt's words have been taken to mean that supporting LGBT friends and family members in their domestic relationships is a "grave evil" and "mortal sin." At least that's the way LGBT Catholics and progressives of faith see it.

This led many to ask questions. What does "encourage or promote" mean? Ann DeGroot, executive director of OutFront Minnesota, wrote in a Star Tribune commentary:, "My goodness, does this mean that my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins are committing a mortal sin by allowing me, my partner and our son into their homes? They are supportive of our family -- you might even say encouraging. What does this mean about them?"

Degroot continued: "What about the thousands of parents, children and family members who stand up for their children no matter what and love them, support them and speak up for them? In order to be good Catholics, must they now uninvite them to Christmas dinner to save their own souls? And how many other everyday acts of common charity become a "grave evil" and result in mortal sin? What a position to put people in!"

Nienstedt took issue with DeGroot's "caricature" of his words, and issued his own caricature of DeGroot's words. "The caricature that she makes of my argument is that 'parents of an actively homosexual child cannot invite that person home for Christmas dinner' without committing a sin. I never said or implied that, and I never would."

But that's not what DeGroot asked. She wondered whether her relatives inviting her family -- she has a long-term partner and a son -- to Christmas dinner would constitute "encouragement or promotion" of the lifestyle and, therefore, sin. Nienstedt's words were written under the circumstances of the archidocese preventing Carol Curoe and her father from talking about supportive families. It's certainly not a stretch for folks to view the words in that context.

Where is the line between loving our LGBT friends and family and committing mortal sin?

In a recent column by Star Tribune columnist Nick Coleman, archdiocese spokester Dan McGrath attempted to answer that question. "It was about the sin, the activity -- not the person," McGrath said. "He didn't mean you must stop loving your child. But if you say, 'Why don't you go hit the gay bars tonight? ...' He was talking about those who encourage or promote homosexual activities, like a pornographer might."

Apparently, as long as you don't offer to drive your gay or lesbian friends or family members to a gay bar or ask them to express their love in front of a video camera, your soul is safe. But that doesn't explain the church's decision to forbid the Curoes from speaking at the church. It wasn't Carol Curoe and her partner discussing their sex life, it was Carol and her father talking about struggling as a family over a controversial issue and finding a way to keep the family together.

Luckily, Nienstedt provides a little more guidance in his response to DeGroot.

"After being born, raised and educated in a Catholic home and Catholic schools, my brother decided to join an evangelical church," he wrote in the Star Tribune. "My parents were heartbroken but continued to keep in touch with him. He knew that my parents never accepted his action, but he also knew they would not reject his person."

The answer for Catholic families with gay or lesbian members? Just treat them as you would an evangelical Christian member of the family. There's no doubt evangelicals, who are arguably more hostile to gays and lesbians, will find that advice to be helpful.