"Don't ask, don't tell" ruins lives: Event at U of MN sheds light on discriminatory policy

"Don't ask, don't tell" (DADT) has been a failed military policy. That was the consensus Monday night among gay and lesbian veterans and law students gathered at the University of Minnesota Law School to hear Aaron Tax of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) describe challenges that members face when the military learns that they are gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Tax, whose organization offers legal services to those navigating DADT, recalled the story of Monica Hill. In 1994, Hill received a medical school scholarship through the United States Air Force and moved to Ohio with her partner, Terry, to begin her studies. In 2001, at the same time Hill was called up for overseas duty, Terry learned she had cancer and was given a prognosis: She had three to twelve months to live. The pair were partners for 14 years, and Hill asked the Air Force for a deferment so she could be with her dying partner.

The only way she could get a deferment was to come out. She did, and Terry died within months. In another few months, Hill was out of a job, discharged under "don't ask don't tell." To add insult to injury, the Air Force then asked for a full refund of her medical-school scholarship.

Monica's story is typical of the way DADT ruins the lives of those who sign up to serve their country. And Tax told the audience that it is not easy to avoid asking or telling.

He gave some "survival tips" on the ins and outs of not asking and not telling.

Don't ask: "Recruiters can no longer ask you if you are gay," said Tax. But everyone else can and does ask. "In fact, people are really asked all the time. It just comes up in the ordinary course of conversation," he said. "Imagine you are here in law school for two years and you never ever ever discuss the fact that you are dating anyone or about your family."

Don't tell: "A lot of people think that means just don't bring your sexual orientation to work. So, if you are a guy, don't wear a feather boa to work or be a flaming gay person," said Tax. "'Don't tell' really means: don't be out to anyone, any time, anywhere. That means don't be out on your Facebook page, or your Myspace page. Don't be out to your parents. We've had a case where someone's parents outed them."

"Don't date, because ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends can out you to get back at you, and that happens all the time," he said. "Friends can turn on you and out you, psychologists can out you, physicians have to report to the military so your doctor can out you. Even the chaplain in the military can out you."

With the stakes so high -- outed personnel can lose their jobs, education or even careers -- GLBT enlistees must be vigilant about concealing their true sexual orientation, Tax said.

The military, by contrast, can be completely overt in discrimination based on sexual orientation. While the University of Minnesota prohibits such discrimination, the military has the only recruiters at the University of Minnesota Law School who don't have to abide by the university's anti-discrimination policy. In fact, if the university doesn't allow them to recruit, the law school could lose millions in federal grants under the Solomon Amendment.

While the law school has it's hands tied, the students are working to change things. The event Monday evening with Aaron Tax is put on by the Solomon Amendment Amelioration Committee, a group of students and faculty seeking to educate and inform the community about the DADT policy and its implications as a method to ameliorate the effects of these laws.

"The Solomon Amendment coercively forces the law school to accept military recruiters, under the threat of the loss of all federal funds for the university, but that does not mean that we must remain silent about their presence," said Jesse Berglund, Army veteran and president of Outlaw, an LGBT group for law students.

"While Outlaw respects the military and the difficulties encountered in recruiting during a time of war, the presence of military recruiters in the law school also presents an excellent opportunity for us to show why DADT does not work and is just plain wrong."