On coming out (maybe)

Update #3: SparklesMpls has both blogs saved on his server, and has a great background on the 3 blogs. Dunner has a nice wrap-up and some 'what ifs' in his post "your daily dose of 'stb' crap."

Update #2: Ok, it was likely a hoax. And the real Lucas Bachmann goes to the University of Minnesota. Here's his 'stalk U at the U' page. Hat tip to James. Aaron has a hilarious wanted poster at his blog!

Update: Jason has screen-grabs. The sites are down, so my links don't work. Dunner has some good posts on this as well. As for me, I'm telling myself: "Move along, there's nothing to see here."

-------------------------------------

Yesterday morning, this post appeared on a blog called "Saint Thomas Boy" or STB as he will be referred to from this point on:

"Bye.
This is my last post, EVER. I've decided that blogging isn't for me. Before I go, I just want to thank a few people. First, thanks for everyone who cared enough to read and respond to me. Secondly, thanks to J for still being an inspiration to me. You truly are an amazing person. Lastly, thanks mom for proving, once again, that you are a bigot.

It's been real,

Lucas Bachmann"

The background for the story goes like this: J at mesouthern met a closeted guy from St. Thomas University, and they started dating. On September 27, this post was entered on his blog:

"this weekend STB and i were discussing the possibility of coming out to his family. he feels that it's important for them to know about his life, mainly about me. i was moved by this. the problem is that his parents hold public office in minnesota and are born agains. this was something that i just learned over the weekend. things are going to get interesting, since his family is active in pushing for the ban on gay marriage in minnesota. i mostly listened to him talk. at times my mouth was wide open, in disbelief. when he told me who his parents are, i was in shock. i'm nervous...and i don't know what to do from here."

What does this say? A closeted guy, who's family is in politics and pushing for a ban on gay marriage, and his last name is Bachmann?

If the blog is real, then Michele Bachmann will learn what it is like to love someone who is gay. If it's not real, then Michele Bachmann will probably learn what it is like to love someone who is gay, for just a minute.

It's sad that coming out has to be so political. If this blog is real, I feel for this guy. I grew up in a home that was very religious. Parents love their children, even when children do things they may not like. Some parents, however, hold the belief that being gay is evil and will cut their children off. Those of us in the GLBT community have seen this time and time again.

It's truly sad that being gay and coming out is still a struggle for so many people. Michele Bachmann's amendment, even the introduction of it, contributes to a climate that makes coming out and being gay such a difficult process.

The implications of this are huge. If it's real, there is a guy out there who is in a serious sturggle and going through a lot of pain. His mother is the head of the movement in Minnesota to marginalize a part of him that runs very deep. Announcing this to the world is very, very dangerous for him emotionally. His life will not be the same from this point on.

If it's not real, whoever did this will have given anyone who is anti-gay plenty of ammunition to say, "Look what the homosexual activists are doing to Sen. Bachmann's family! They are as evil as we always thought." Outing someone else, either falsely or truthfully, is wrong.

But is this blog real? The the post-Plain Layne blogosphere, we all need to be skeptical, and try to dig as deep into something as we can. Unfortuntely, the internet is vast and deep, and reality and truth can be easily distorted.

Lucas Bachmann is a real person, and is the son of State Senator Michele Bachmann. There are pictures of STB on the mesouthern website, and there is a picture of Bachmann's family on her site. The pictures are discreet; it's difficult to make any connection.

Things started to get interesting when "Lucas Bachmann" changed to just "Lucas B." yesterday afternoon, and then changed back to "Lucas Bachmann" this morning. At first I beleived the blog. I'd been reading both blogs since their beginning, and had no reason to doubt them. But now, a couple of things leave me wondering. Lucas Bachmann is not listed at St. Thomas, nor does his name appear in a google search associated with St. Thomas. That doesn't prove anything, but it's a start.

When you put mesouthern, saintthomasboy, and a site that is associated with both, Uptown Diva, some things seem fishy on the surface. When using blogspot, a blogger needs to upload images to a different site. Blogspot doesn't host images, at least not for the basic user. All three sites use the same host for images, www.pix8.net. I visited perhaps 100 other blogspot sites, and not a single one of them used this image hosting site. Many used the same hosting sites, photobucket and flikr were very popular. That again doesn't prove anything. All three sites were created with help from each other, so using the same image site can make sense.

The fact that it was posted on the same day that the Minnesota Legislature came back into session is another thing to consider.

I don't know what to make of it all, and this is all I know about STB. STB and anyone else who is coming out or need to talk to someone about coming out, here are some resources in the Twin Cities area:
Outfront has a comprehensive listing

and nationally:
The Trevor Hotline
1-866/4-U-TREVOR

National Gay and Lesbian Youth Hotline
1-800-347-TEEN (8336)

Gay and Lesbian National Hotline
1-888-843-GLNH (4564)

National AIDS Hotline
1-800-342-AIDS (2437)
1-800-344-7432 (Spanish)
1-800-243-7889 (TTY)

Sexual Responsibility

At the theshanelife.com, Shane's post, "The Homo Human Petri Dish II" touches on a sensitive subject in the queer men's community: sexual freedom vs. disease.

"...gay men, with their re-creation of the septic tank subculture of the 70's, [are] turning themselves into human petri dishes for sexually transmitted diseases," and "You skanks. Stop fucking yourselves to death!"

So, I'll start with disease. I won't even consider putting HIV into this "human petri dish" argument. I see the emergence and spread of HIV among gay men this way: Gay men are part of a sexually closed community. Our sexual partners are other gay men, and as such, a newly introduced disease will be more of less confined to that sexually closed community. I can elaborate more if others disagree.

That said, gay men, as a whole, do have higher rates of sexually transmitted infections than other communities. It's something that is used against us time and time again in political rhetoric. However, having a disease is not immoral, even a sexually transmitted one. It's the taboo on sex and sexuality that makes people so queasy.

Sexual freedom and relationships. I think it's important to realize that some people are not out there looking for love or gay marriage. I am, and many others are too. But even I enjoy a good roll in the hay now and again.

Many people just want to get off with someone else, proof of which any quick trip to the chat room will provide. And that SHOULD be ok. It was sexual freedom that told queers we didn't have to fuck genders we didn't want to just because society said we had to. And it was sexual freedom that told women they didn't have to get raped by their husbands anymore. Sexual freedom is a good thing. [with consenting adults, of course. Or box turtles.]

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "With freedom comes responsibility," so if your one of those 'homosexuals with 1000 partners a year' that the radical christian clerics keep talking about, be responsible and don't spread disease to others. That means trips to the clinics and using whatever means of safety you practice (latex condoms are very effective, for starters), because if you don't, it makes Shane mad.

O Zone, Gay Romania

O Zone is like the Romanian answer to NSync, except they're way better because unless you speak Romanian, you don't know what they're singing. And no one wants to know what boy bands are singing, as long as the tune catchy and danceable.

O Zone, a boy band of Moldovans who launched their music career in Romania, had a hit this summer with Dragostea Din Tei. The group's original video for Dragostea Din Tei is here. It's the gayest thing on the planet. The cheezy pop nature of the song spurred this spoof video. [via Mighty who found it at Ultragrrrl]

Like most boy bands, O Zone is very 'gay vague.' If you watch the video, you'll see a rainbow, speedos, lots of hugging, and some pseudo cuddling on the sofa at the end. Of course, these are Europeans so speedos, rainbows, and man-touching are pretty normalized behavior and imagery. Why is one group member spread eagle on the sofa while the other group member watches him sleep?

Unfortunately, Romania is not a terrific country for GLBT persons. Under Soviet rule, gays and lesbians could be punished with up to 5 years in prison. The Romanian Orthodox Church is very pervasive in Romanian culture. More than 85% of Romanians belong, and the religion poses the usual Christian demonization of GLBT people.

In Romania, the gay rights struggle continues. It sounds like it's probably similar to being gay in places like Alabama or Mississippi, or even Utah. It was illegal to have gay sex until 2001, as pressure to be admitted to the European Union made Romanian government overturn several laws, and create several new anti-discrimination laws. Unfortunatley, the vast majority of Romanians say they would not like to have gay neighbors (90%). [via Gay Romania News and Reports 2000-04]

Romania does have an organized gay community. The non-profit organization, ACCEPT Romania has been instrumental in gaining equal rights for GLBT Romanians.

Gay Romanians got a chunk of good news a few weeks ago when the Romanian people elected Traian Basescu as President of Romania. Basescu ran on a platform that included equality for gays and lesbians.

There is some gay scene in Romania. Just look at these hot guys at the KaMANsutra party. The Queens Club in Bucharest was the first LGBT club in Romania.

Addendum: Here's a great Romanian gay blog. I don't know what it says, but it's totally gay and romanian! Romaniangay.blogspot.com.

Gay Marriage Fun in the New Year

Michele Bachmann, Minnesota's favorite Christian extremist aside from former State Rep. Arlon Lindner, plans to advance her cause to move American society closer to a Christian Taliban with the re-introduction of the Defense of Marriage Amendment in the 2005 legislative session.

That, and she's so pretty.

Twin Cities Pride Festival vs. Star Tribune

The Twin Cities Pride Board has filed a discrimination complaint against the Star Tribune.

The bitchfest started when the Pride Block Party advertising included an image of two men kissing. The Star Tribune refused to run the ad because, "Star Tribune's policy is not to show kissing in advertisements, heterosexual or otherwise" - Ben Taylor, Vice President of the Star Tribune. So, the Twin Cities Pride people spent a few days collecting advertisements that did show men and women kissing in movie and car advertisements. Somebody was making stuff up.

According to Living Out, a print only GLBT publication, Twin Cities Pride has attempted to obtain a written copy of the 'no kissing' policy. Ben Taylor said, "Each publisher, under law, can define standards of acceptability. We're not going to negotiate those. These are our standards of assessment. We're under no obligation to release our guidelines [in print] so we're not going to do that."

The McClatchy Company, based in Sacramento, CA, owns the Star Tribune. Assistant General Counsel for the McClatchy Company, Stephen J. Burns says, "The Star Tribune sought to support your organization by entering into a sponsorship agreement intended to increase the chances for success of the festival. In response, [GLBT Pride Twin Cities] has chosen to push a gay rights issue not contemplated by the contract..."

Eileen Scallen, an Attorney-at-Law providing pro-bono support to Twin Cities Pride, shoots back: "Apparently, McClatchy was surprised that a gay rights organization would push 'a gay rights issue'." Oh, you go girl! Twin Cities Pride, whatever your complaints against them may be, are sticking to their guns on this one. And good for them.

For the full-story, look for Living Out - Twin Cities at area newsstands.

History of the Anti-Gay Movement

If you've wondered how these anti-gay organizations and foundations started, Mitch Gore has a brief history at DailyKos. The connections between white supremecists and current anti-gay outfits like the Heritage Foundation and Coors Brewing are pretty fascinating. I think it would change a lot of people's minds if, say, a major newspaper or magazine were to tell this story...I won't be holding my breath.

Gay Bomb

The Gay Bomb was fun! No fights and no phone numbers, just extra large mugs of beer for really cheap.

Minneapolis Gay Bombing will become a regular event, every third Thursday of the month!

Gay Bombing Mayslacks

Tonight at 9:30pm, lots of gays will attempt to take over Mayslack's Bar. Will it work? Will fights break out? Will I get a phone number?

Details at 2:30am!

Leroy Aarons

Leroy Aarons, founder of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association, died November 28th at the age of 70. [WashingtonPost]

To learn more about Roy Aarons, and what he meant to journalists and others, view the Roy Aarons Online Memory Book. Seriously, what an amazing way to remember someones life. This blog thing continues to amaze me every day.

ABC is just plain rude

I would boycott ABC...if I watched TV. And this is yet another example of why you should just turn off the tube, and find something else to do.

If you hadn't heard by now, 20/20 ran a Thanksgiving weekend exposé on Matthew Shepard, using tabloid journalism to skew the issue of violence against GLBT folks. The transcript is here.

Why bring this up now? It's kind of a masked attempt to tap into the current tide of anti-gay sentiment and 'moral values'. And don't forget the time of year! Sweeps. Ratings. Advertising revenue.

20/20 tried to say that the murder was not fueled by anti-gay hate, and now people that don't like gays much are saying "see, we told you so," as if, in the off chance that this piece of sensationalistic (and opportunistic) 'news' has any facts at all, somehow proves that gays aren't ever victims of violence just because they are gay. I think the Holocaust, the Inquisition, and recently murders in the UK and Alabama, and, you know, at least 6 people were murdered last year because they were queer.

You should go over to the freerepublic.com thread about this topic. You can smell the fucking irony. And reading it will piss you off, so if your in a good mood, don't click the link.

So, what I'm trying to say is that it happens. Is hate crime legislation going to fix the problem? No, probably not. And we should probably be thinking of more proactive ways to end violence, homophobia, and murder. (In case you're wondering, I don't have any suggestions. But I'll bet you do.)

Kinsey

I saw Kinsey last night which featured a full frontal Liam Neeson whoever, there was enough penis to go around! This film has everything to do with the "moral values" shit that we read about daily, and comparing it to 2004, we haven't gone very far in this country. But, some of the progress made in sexual politics since the 1950s can be attributed Kinsey. His research, however flawed, shattered a lot of myths about sexuality. And he had a big penis.

Str8 Acting

How's this for a solicitation:

"masculine str8acting professional 28yo stud.....Lookin to give some head tonight"

Giving head is definitely not a "str8acting" activity, a least for 'studs.' Does anyone else think that men who define themselves as straight-acting are totally lame? and not sexy at all?

MN Sec. of State and Gay Pride

Did Secretary of State Mary Kiffmeyer attend the Twin Cities Gay Pride Festival? Me thinks not.

"I don't have any squeamishness whatsoever about reaching out to all voters, one side or the other. Luis Palau, oh, my goodness sakes! Where's the Star Tribune when I'm working at Gay Pride and my staff has to take flak for being there? Most of the time we've been treated with respect and welcomed. We've done Buddhists to Luis Palau. I've been with Muslims." Emphasis added.

Yeah, because, ya know, nothing gets under gay peoples skin like voter registration! Multicultural Mary might have got flak (if she was actually there) for signing the "Defenders of Marriage" pledge.

But Multicultural Mary is so multicultural she's even 'been with Muslims.' How cute.

She recently warned polling officials to be on the lookout for folks smelling of "unusual herbal/flower water or perfume." What does Multicultural Mary have against people that smell good?

The closet

McGreevy, Schrock, Nixon, Keyes, Dreier (maybe).

We all keep asking about whether 'outing' a public figure is 'ethical' or 'moral.'

Nobody's saying anything about why the closet still exists, and why 'outing' is still a word in our vocabulary.

ex-gays, ex-ex-gays, and XXX-gays

While at a gay wedding this Saturday, another gay thing was happening just up the road. The "Love Won Out" Conference was going on, and all those sexy ex-gays were there. I can just picture it: men in polo shirts and khaki's flirting at each other with their eyes, while rubbing their bibles with frustration. I imagine the sexual tension was as thick as Jesus' long flowing locks.

I don't mean to knock the ex-gays; religion can be a powerful force in people's lives. Unfortunately, "Love Won Out" and Exodus will continue to seduce those trying to reconcile faith and sexuality, but history shows that many ex-gays become ex-ex-gays.

From HateCrime.org: "John Paulk, the current ex-gay leader who was featured on the cover of Newsweek, was subsequently caught in a gay bar in Washington, DC at 11PM on a weeknight. Paulk first lied about why he was there, then later admitted that this wasn't his first visit to a gay bar. Wade Richards, the former ex-gay teen leader, last year came out and said that he was not "cured" of his homosexuality and that the ex-gay movement is a bunch of bunk. The two men who founded the ex-gay movement in the early 1970s subsequently quit the movement, and married each other." Those two men were Gary Cooper and Michael Bussee. [From Anything But Straight.]

For up to date info on Ex-gays: Ex-Gay Watch, News and Analysis of Ex-gay Politics.

My first gay wedding

Despite my fictional marriage to Tom Welling, yesterday was my first time at a gay wedding or 'commitment ceremony.' My good friends Jeff and Eric tied the knot in a park in Nordeast Minneapolis on a beautiful September afternoon.

The reception was fun with an open bar and a great Middle Eastern/Mediterranean Eastern European buffet. Here are the two hotties:

And I spent much of the afternoon with fellow blogger, Aaron, as we crashed Boom! after the ceremony to pre-bar the reception.

It was a beautiful wedding and a fun reception!

Keep your eyes off my prize, bitch.

I was taking a leak at the local queer bar last night. The place had 2 urinals separated by a fiberglass divider. Without any subtlety, the guy next to me actually craned his neck around the divider to check out my dick. When I not-so-gently pointed out that urination is a private event for me and could he please concentrate on his own business, he curtly asked me to 'lighten up, bitch.'

Homophobic Congressman is (alleged) Closet Homo, Resigns

Virginia Congressman Edward Schrock (R) retired today, with just 2 months before November's election because of unspecified allegations. He abruptly ended his campaign for re-election.

And about those 'unspecified allegations': He's been cruising for sex, and someone found out! Check it.

A comment at dailyKos transcribed the tape that is alleged to be Schrock:

Uh, hi, I weigh 200 pounds, uh, six-foot-four, hazel eyes, blond hair, very muscular, very buffed-up, uh, very tanned, um, I'd just like to get together with a guy from time to time just to -- just to play. I'd like him to be, uh, in very good shape, flat stomach, good chest, good arms, well-hung, cut, uh, just get naked, play, and see what happens, nothing real heavy duty, but just a fun time, go down on him, he can go down on me, and just, uh, take it from there. Hope to hear from you. Bye.

This is the second 'family values' closet case Republican to be outed in the past month. Could homophobia help swing this election? A few more conservative closet cases get outed, and Congress will be swinging left in no time, not to mention that America gets to see the damage the closet can do to peoples lives.

More here:
Cong. Schrock 'stonewalls' media in responding to 'outing' report by gay web site (Virginia News Source)
VA-02: Outed Hypocrite Provides Pickup Opportunity (Michael-d at DailyKos)
VA-02: GOoPer Schrock resigns (DailyKos)

Update: Schrock also gets a 0% voting score from HRC.

"give & recieve when time allows"

Why, oh why do closeted married men think it's ok to fuck around with other men?

Take this winner from Gay.com

"More about me
I enjoy Gay sex (oral)give & recieve when time allows. Since I'm Bi and the wife does not know, timing can be difficult sometimes. I'm definetly not a kisser with men."

I run into this constantly, and it makes me furious. I understand being in the closet and having to bow to community norms forces many queers into false marriages. I also understand that many men realize their queer sexuality later in life. Such are the pains of living in a heteronormative world.

However, cheating is lying and lying is bad. Adultery is still adultery regardless of the gender of the 'other' person. This behavior contributes to the rise of STDs among heterosexual women. And when HIV is involved, it's a lie that can kill.

For closeted men who are married and want to "give & recieve when time allows" with other men: tell your wife. One of two things will happen. She will leave you, allowing you to 'give & recieve when time allows' without lying or she will understand and relieve you of your promise of monogamy.

I've seen the latter situation before. A spouse allows the other to endulge in side relationships because the emotional bond is what keeps the marriage together.

Not everyone wants or needs a 'gay' identity. And many folks are still struggling with the closet. But putting unsuspecting loved ones in harms way, just to "give & recieve when time allows" is dangerous and irresponsible.

Cruising for Sex

My opinions: I will not attempt settle the debate in the comments section of my post "Cruise Control."

However, increasing crackdowns and media attention to the subject of public sex brings up some important considerations. My comments are based on sex occuring in public places, not bathhouses or backrooms.

Comment A: As far as the legal ramifications of public sex, how often would it occur if the laws were repealed? Many guys do it for the thrills; risking capture is part of the fun. I doubt it would occur more often with legalization. Sting operations and undercover police officers are a waste of my money. Why not take some of the cops off the vice beat and park them in front of my house. Perhaps then they would have thwarted one of the 3 separate incidences to my fucking car this spring. I mean honestly, I think speeding is more of a crime than a few naked men offending the sensibilities of some suburban housewife as she walks her precious dog Rufus. (She probably forgets to clean up the crap too, which is a bigger crime in my mind!)

Comment B: Society at large would do well to loosen the taboo against sex and sexuality. The stigmatization of homosexuality certainly has some impact on incidence of public sex. Closeted men undoubtedly make up a hefty chunk of cruisers as these men escape a stifling heterosexual reality and fulfill their carnal desires in the secrecy of bushes and bathrooms. The same taboo against sex and sexuality in public intices thrill-seeking men who are not closeted in a fashion similar to Comment A. Sometimes it feels so good to be bad. However, when media and local law enforcement perpetuate the taboo on sex, the actually reinforce the thrill.

Comment C: Why did we close the bathhouses? Primarily because of HIV and the public health panic that ensued in the late 1980s and 1990s. We've learned a lot since then, and while gay men still account for a disproportionate number of new HIV cases, the trends show rates that continue to go down as education about the disease increases. (There may well be occasional spikes in new cases, but the overall trend of the epidemic for men who have sex with men has decreased markedly, despite many, many men living longer lives). Bathhouses provide private spaces for (public) sex. Cruising is confined and easily accessable. Men don't go to jail for cruising at a bathhouse. Additionally, bathhouses provide a controlled setting where violence and drug use is minimized, and barriers to protect oneself from HIV and other STDs can be offered in abundance as well as on-site screening and education. Bathhouses would move much of public sex to a private realm.

Comment D: Men who engage in public sex need to be aware of some things as they cruise. 1. Stay out of public view! You're gonna get caught if you do. And when you get caught by the wrong soccer mom (See Comment B), it's gonna be on the news. And the major networks really don't care about your best interests or the gay community's best interests. They care that sex, fear, and gay sells. And they are selling it right back to those soccer moms and dads who (unlike yourself) are frightened of strange penises. And once all the soccer moms and dads hear that there are strange penises out there, there gonna get your favorite cruising grounds raided and closed down. It happened here, and here, and here in just the past year. 2. For fuck's sake, take care of your body. People having anonymous sex need to get screened for STDs so they don't pass them on to others. It's a courtesy that needs to be more common.

That's all I have to say about public sex. I've never had it, but I've seen it enough times to know it happens a lot. In a perfect world, these ideas might fall on important ears....but I'm just a queer with a website.

Cruise Control

The Rake has a great article this week on cruising for sex in public. Cruising is nothing new to Minneapolis parks and toities, mainly during the warm season (aka June, July, and August), but it's interesting to see the climate in St. Paul is quite a bit harsher for gay public sex connoisseurs.

All in all, it's a great article on an aspect of queer culture that gets very little play in the gay press locally, which is suprising because there's been a lot of noise in the local mainstream press about it lately. We, as a community, are so afraid of community-wide critque, unless of course we're at the club condemning trucker hats, glitter, and low cut jeans on 20 year olds to hell.

Lavender Magazine's own editor, Travis Stanton, had a nice quote in the article, one that would have fit nicely in a story in his own publication:

“The concept of make-out point is as American as apple pie, but if the rendezvous involves two gay men, rather than the captain of the football team and head cheerleader, it’s prosecuted as if the two were selling crack to kindergartners.”

Well said Travis.

Plain Layne: Not a queer blogger

One Minnesota queer blogger that I missed out on reading was Plain Layne. Layne was a fictionalized character. This week's CityPages story "Girl Interrupted" details the mystery and search for truth in the Plain Layne disappearance, as well as the discovery of the blog's true author. This Metafilter thread is an intriguing look at how this collective online community solved the mystery.

The entire Plain Layne story highlights one natural aspect of online culture: fictionalized personalities. Chat rooms and message boards are full of stories of hook-ups gone awry through deception. Similar to the writer of Plain Layne, many internet socialites and cruisers embellish, exaggerate, and deceive because they can.

I have come across this more than a few times. Bloggers that I find to be intriguing turn out to be misrepresenting themselves once some personal contact is made. Internet chatters who I might find attractive, finally come clean about the stolen photo in the profile at the first hint of getting together.

But is this just a natural part of internet socializing? Does the ability to use text and pixels to represent oneself contribute to a blurred sense of reality? Is it a good thing that the internet allows us to be who we cannot in real life, or does it contibute to further distrust of the medium?

For the record, I am who I say I am. What I write about myself is true. My images are me. Obviously, I didn't marry Tom Welling simply because we can't legally marry in Minnesota and we all know he wants my hot body, but I think anyone reading this understands satire.

My favorite referral ever

I got a great referral tonight: Why is Andy so gay?

"Hmmm", I asked myself: "Why AM I so gay?" It can't be as simple as "it's because I like dudes, dude."

I don't know if it's genetic and I don't care. Maybe god granted me the wisdom to know that cock is more fun than pussy. But that only eludes to an answer for the question: "why is Andy gay?" not "why is Andy so gay?"

Why is Andy "so gay?" I'm "so gay" because I get nauseous thinking about kids, twenty-somethings, and middle aged married closet cases going through the same shit I did growing up. You're scared to death that someone wants to beat your ass, sue you, or leave you for not being a real MAN (whatever that is, because it takes a lot more balls to reject the norm in my opinion). You get through that and you've got to deal with the fear of disease everytime you fuck or get fucked.

It's amazing that many of us make it through. And those that do, really do understand what it is to be "gay," and those that want to make it different for the next batch of queers become "so gay." And I thoroughly enjoy every minute I get to change our collective situation and make that difference.

I hope I answered the question adequately for Mystery Referral Person, because it was answered after a minimum of sleep and maximum of alcoholic consumption. Perhaps not so different from the condition it was asked.

Minnesota's Queer Bloggers

In honor of Pride Month, or Week, or Weekend, or however long it is this year, I've put together some highlights of the Queer bloggers in Minnesota. The Minnesota Queer Blogger list will soon move and become permanent, so please email or comment if you know of other blogs. I left off Livejournal and other things such as that. There's just too damn many of them. But here's a working list, and don't mind the graphic. It's 4am and nothing comes out pretty at 4am. And here they are in no particular order:

And I am Somebody is Sparklesmpls. He's a gay 25 year old recovering alcoholic working at an advertising shop.

42 hails from St. Paul, but I don't hold that against him.

Afgan Bound met a man, but the man got shipped to Afganistan. They've been writing back and forth. It's touching, people. Go read it.

Atom is a pornstar. At least he will be soon. unlike the new crop of fake porn blogs or journals or whatever, Atom's is the real deal. Elroy is his photographer, and he's pretty cool. I met him years ago through an ex. [Not Safe For Work: But neither am I. Surf at your own risk, kiddies]

Dunner loves the Chicago Cubs, which makes him cool in my book. He also finds some wicked fun political stuff. Bookmark him now!

Scrunge is a zine written by Tom-A-Hawk. When he's not driving around with Marissa Tomei or chattin' it up with Lili Taylor, he's sharing an office with Matt Dillon while they film the new movie.

Jason also writes a zine. It's called Dog's Breakfast and he blogs at 5 o'clock bot. I'm convinced he was instrumental in removing former Education Commissioner Terri Yeckeafter exposing her dominatrix tendencies. Oh yeah, Elijah Wood is gay.

Erik loves Mac and has excitedly awaited the opening of the new Ikea here in Minnesota. He met Al Gore doing work for Dean's campaign.

Matters of Great Consequence is written by Jimbo, a newcomer to the blogosphere, and he's about to get laid off. He looks kinda cute. Someone find him a job!

Pianoforte is a classically trained pianist. It sounds like classically trained penis if you say it sloppily. He's also a virgo, which means virgin in astrology speak, I think.

David at sixfootpole always has the scoop on gay news local and national. Sometimes there's even a homophobe of the day.

Duncan Wilder just left Minneapolis for Japan to attend college. He's one lucky man. I wanna go to Japan.

Erica at Swirlspice is the only lesbian on my list. That makes her unique, but so does the rest of her life. Go check it out!

Paul is an Angry Queer. I've known him for years. If there's politics involved this man is there!

I met Josh who writes the The Bodacious Life of Josh at a frat party a few years back. He's a fun guy with a new blog.

She's frighteningly hilarious. Just watch the videos. My only drag queen blog on the list, but really Wanda's Wisdom should be the only drag queen blog on anybody's list!

Wet Cement is Marc, a U of MN student studying in Iceland. I'm totally jealous that I'm not in the land of Bjork and Sigur Ros too.

Come over and watch a movie

Has anyone else experienced this? Or is it a Minnesota thing...

When a guy says, "Come over and watch a movie" either in the course of dating or as a first date, the implication is that there will be sex. I've been in this situation numerous times and mostly, I just want to watch the movie. Picture it: I haven't even clicked through the DVD menu and my (hypothetical) date (I'm not currently dating) is ON me like Rush Limbaugh on a pot roast.

I've come to discover that "come over and watch a movie" is gay code for "come over and let's screw." What do you think?

Tops or bottoms

I've recently been asked if I'm a top or bottom. Being the naive gay that I am, I thought I'd consult Google. Ramon Johnson, about.com's foremost expert on gay sex had this to say:

If you've ever been in a gay chat room or discussion forum, chances are you've been asked if you were a top, bottom or versatile. These discriptors not only reference sexual roles, but represent behavior in a relationship with your gay partner. A top is the dominant partner in a gay relationship or the one who prefers penetrating the other partner during anal sex. A bottom is the passive partner in a gay relationship or the one who prefers being penetrated during anal sex. A versatile person can be both dominant and passive in a relationship and enjoys either sexual role.

Interesting. Tell me more Ramon:

Well, some guys use non-verbal signals to disclose their preferences. For example, if a band, earring, tattoo or other jewelry is on the right side, it signifies a bottom. If they are on the left, then the guy is a top. Gay men also wear colors to signify certain sexual practices. Wearing these colors on the left or right will signify these practices as a top or bottom respectively.

Thank you Ramon, for that antiquated and stereotypical view of gay sexuality. Have you ever in your entire life, worn a certain color to 'signify certain sexual practices'?

We all have preferences for different kinds of sex. I can't imagine that being with a strict bottom or strict top would ever be sexually fullfilling. I mean, getting fucked for 20 years? Let's spice things up bit The wonderful thing about gay sex is the variety, and the ability to enjoy that variety with a partner.

More importantly, to define who your potential relationships will be based on sexual postion, is to put them in the realm of fuck-buddy. Fuck-buddies are fine, but not indicative of a romantic or otherwise emotionally based relationship; the kind of relationship I think of when speaking of a 'gay relationship'.

Ramon says that top and bottom sexual positions 'not only reference sexual roles, but represent behavior in a relationship with your gay partner.' I'm curious to know: am I performing the correct behavior in accordance to my sexual role?

For instance: If I top, am I compelled to pay for dinner? Because, ya know what? I'm stingy. So, I'll bottom instead. Should I cook dinner? Bake some pie? Wear an apron and bake a tofurkey? I hate cooking. I'll be versatile. I'll cook dinner for my man and pay for it too!

We're living in the post-gay era, Ramon. I would hope that 'top and bottom' don't 'represent behavior in a relationship with your gay partner'. Behavior in a relationship should not reflect gendered stereotypes based on anal penetration. And hanky-color codes are so 1970s.

Attempt to deny wafers and wine to gays unsuccessful

A group of gays and lesbians attempting to eat wafers and drink wine at a St. Paul cathedral were initially denied access by Catholic protesters, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reports.

David Pence of the Ushers of the Eucharist, the group that seeks to prevent gays and lesbians from engaging in the traditional ritual symbolic of cannibalism at Catholic venues had this to say: "We understand you have a disordered [sexual] appetite and a misinformed intellect...You will desecrate the eucharist today."

Photo edited for comic effect.

Those with 'disordered sexual appetites' are often those in charge of implementing many rituals in the Catholic church, Mr. Pence, in case you've missed the news for the last 5 years.

Mr. and Mrs.(?) Pence probably enjoy a very exciting sex life based on their shared 'ordered sexual appetite'. Rhythm method, missionary position sex each wedding anniversary must be thrilling and I'll bet Mr. Pence throws the wife a 'bone' on her birthday too, just to spice things up in the bedroom.

Personally, I'll take some hot disordered (gay) sex any day.

Fortunately, the church was willing to allow the faithful gays and lesbians to take communion, despite Mr. Pence's 'misinformed intellect'.

Virginia is for (Straight) Lovers

Gays look to leave Virginia...

From the Richmond Times-Dispatch:

The new law is an amendment to the state's 1997 Affirmation of Marriage Act, which prohibits gay marriages in Virginia. The amendment extends that ban to civil unions, partnership contracts and other "arrangements between persons of the same sex purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage."

Virginia is the only state where companies not large enough to underwrite their own insurance policies are prohibited from offering domestic-partner benefits. The state bans joint adoptions by same-sex couples and refuses to list the names of same-sex couples from other states on the birth certificates of children adopted here.

Lawmakers also shot down attempts this year to rewrite the state's anti-sodomy law to conform with the U.S. Supreme Court's decision in Lawrence v. Texas, which struck down a law that made homosexual sex a crime.

In helping the Commonwealth of Virginia attain new heights in discriminatory behavior and legislation, I've designed some new products for the "Virginia is for Lovers" online gift store.

Take the kids out fag bashing with this solid wood Fag Basher (Item A). It doesn't swing like aluminum, but you can bet your ass it hurts a lot more!

And don't forget to break the sinners windows. How else will you get the gasoline in the perverts car or home? And while you're thinking of intimidation through arson, why not pick up the "Get out!" Gas Can (Item B - Flammable liquid not included)?

Gay Pimp

Johnny McGovern is...the Gay Pimp.

I keep seeing his videos as the bar, and they are so hilariously hot!

Go to the website. Watch the videos. There's a weak rumor that he may be in town for Twin Cities Pride. Check back for future details.

Kids today...

It's young people like Jarred Gamwell that should give us all hope for an even brighter future for GLBT folks.

Gamwell was a freshman when he began telling people he was gay, he said. Verbal abuse from students was rife at first, he said, but the insults gradually subsided. At the end of that year, he said, he won an oratory contest with a speech backing same-sex marriage.

Not only has Jarred been creating change amongst his peers, but he embarked on a quest to lead them. Jarred's campaign for student body president hit a snag when his Hunt High School administrators decided to take down his posters that said "Queer Eye for Hunt High" and "Gay Guys Know Everything."

It's like, duh! Of course gay guys know everything. But some uppity principal thought it was too forward to let a 'queer' advertise his queerness. But it seems perfectly acceptable to let another high school student run with the slogan "It's Miller Time."

Apparently in North Carolina it's completely appropriate to let underage students run on a campaign advocating alcohol use, but an openly gay student running a campaign based on who he is poses a 'disruption' to school activities.

And the South wonders why they're the laughing stock of the nation? Welcome to George Bush's America.

Hate the Hate. Don't hate the hater.

This morning was a beautiful Minnesota spring day. Walking along Northrup Mall on the U of MN campus, I noticed a throng of students shouting and a police car. What was all the commotion?

Brother Zed is back. This man is the local Christian fanatic. He walks around campus telling everyone that they are going to hell. He always has some harsh words for the 'homah sekshuls.' Today he had another man with him shoutin' and yellin.' But perhaps the worst part was that he had kids with him. Like grade school age kids.

Aside from the hate spewing, I'm glad the fanatics were there. The number of students arguing with him and supporting the GLBT community was immense. At one point there were at least 150-200 observers, many wearing anti-homophobia stickers being passed out by the Queer Student Cultural Center, and group of at least 30 very vocal students arguing with these fanatics.

Seeing that support got me a bit choked up. There people you wouldn't expect to be rallying for GLBTS folks; fratboys and guys wearing football jerseys, conservative looking girls and hippies, all gathered together, defending the rights and well-being of their fellow GLBT students. It's easy to forget the support we enjoy at the U of MN, especially in light of the virulent attacks by the religious right over the past year or two. This university rocks, this city rocks, and this state ain't so damn bad after all.

I am really, really glad I moved here. And I'm really fortunate that I've had the opportunity to be myself in school, at work, and at home. The students at the U of MN should be proud, because I sure am proud of them.

And this was the one time I didn't have my camera with me. Godammit!

POSTSCRIPT: The fanatic I referred to may have been Brother Jed, the notorious 'mall preacher'. I certainly wish I would have taken a picture, because I can't tell if it was him or not. He did have his family there, which is a trademark for him, so I suppose it could have been. If you are interested in knowing more about Brother Jed or other campus 'mall preachers,' check out this editorial. Brother Jed's sloppy website can be found here. Thanks to Jason at the Game and How We Played It for the info!

Gay conservatives: traitors or reformers?

I'm sure this question has been posed a million times on a million gay blogs...and many gay conservatives have probably responded.

But what do I think? This issue was brought up Thursday evening over bottles of Heinekin and tumblers of Dr McGillicuddy's with some of my more attractive friends. It brought to mind an email I'd received earlier this year as a reponse to a listserve announcement.

The text of the announcement: We've faced a challenging year with many conservative students being appointed to the fees committee and have spent the last three months working on our fees request and presentation. Despite the solid request and presentation that aptly outline the more than 25 programs, services, and co-sponsored activies we provide to the campus community, funding was still cut.

The politics surrounding the email: Socially and fiscally conservative student government appoints very conservative students to allocate student group funds and the GLBT student group is hardest hit.

The response I received: That paragraph reads like this: "Everything we do is good and logical and conservatism, being a force of evil, has decided to batter us simply because it doesn't like us."
If the statement is intended to mean that fiscally conservative students who dislike the use of student service fees in general and have objections to charging students funds above and beyond the cost of high tuition, then please say that.
If the statement is intended to cry discrimination because conservatives are anti-GLBT, then I think it is rather inappropriate to use the word "conservative" and "anti-gay" or "anti-GLBT" should be used when that is what is meant.
Labeling "conservatives" in this way to denote the cause of the problem is disrespectful either way since it either paints us as people with no principles who just like to screw with people by cutting their funding, or paints us all as anti-GLBT bigots.
The QSCC provides services to conservative students, too. When I receive emails like this it is far from welcoming and certainly doesn't motivate me to get more involved.

There is some validity to this person's argument. We do serve students of all political stripes, and we need to be welcoming to the ideas of all. It's healthy for a community. However, it was both fiscally and socially conservative students who made the decision to cut funding. The fact is that the word 'conservative' spans both ideologies which were represented, and is an accurate portrayal of those involved.

Back to the conversation with my sexy and oh-so-intelligent friends. I talked about this email with them. The questions raised: What are the reasons for gay conservativism? From my personal observation, family money has been a factor in three instances, and in two of those instances it was conveyed that liberals want to take all their money away.

I also suspect rebellion. GLBT folks are often very liberal. And for good reason. At least at a local level, liberal politicians have supported GLBT folks for years. But the desire to be different sometimes drives us to the opposite side of the spectrum.

And my dialogue with the cute guys continued: What about GLBT conservatives? Are they a force for change within the conservative ranks? Maybe. Knowing a GLBT person most certainly improves your view of GLBT people. It's the whole basis for Coming Out Days and visibility actions. But if they are closeted in conservative circles and ranks, it doesn't really work, does it?

I'll concede that a desire to reform conservatives on GLBT issues is important and the folks who do it are engaging in tough battle. Yay reformers!

But why get offended when the queer community calls conservatives on the issues that affect them? If I say "Damn those conservatives. They totally screwed me and my partner with that Defense of Marriage garbage" -- we'll then I'm obviously NOT talking about GLBT conservatives who support our community. If your policitical affiliations are more important than others like you, who need your support, then you are a traitor (don't you just love my appropriation of Neocon terminology?).

The writer of that email is most definitely a reformer, and I appreciate the position they are in. I also understand that position can make a person unpopular with GLBT folks given the tension that the community has with conservatives. I know it's not sensitive to GLBT conservatives, but the fact remains: conservatives took away our money.

I saw this message in a Yahoo Group today called gayruralminnesota:

This Groups intent is for rural and Towns outside of the Minneapolis area and has no interest in pride days or Gay Bar scenes! Its for Gay guys in farming
communities and rural area's to find a friend. Minneapolis has its own groups and a ton of them. But Guys across the state and bordering areas need people to. they can relate too. I will no longer approve messages that that promote the
twin cites and events. I will approve individual messages for anyone seeking a
one on one buddy! But no Gay Pride events and group events like the twin cities. Gay is as normal as straight I don't think being Gay has to be paraded aroud and be a public specticle! Those that are into that in the Twin City scene,well to each their own. I will allow links!

We have a lot of blue collar workers and farm dudes who are Gay as well but not into public flaunting. To me that sends a signal to the straight world as though we are different! We are not different just a different sexual orientation. I think guys joined tis grup in hopes to find a one on one friend and a buddy to hang out with! Thanks Group Moderater (emphasis mine)

Huh? Being gay shouldn't be paraded around? Isn't that the exact same argument the anti-gay folks use?

We ARE different. If we weren't, then living life as GLBT people would be the same, there would be no coming out, we'd all have the same shot at jobs, housing, joining the church we want, and enjoying the same levels of health care as eveyone else.

This man isn't talking about assimilation. He's dealing with a HUGE amount of internalized homophobia. As long as he and his 'buddies' continue to deny the difference, they will continue to create the closet that so many of us are trying to escape.

It's obvious this man has no concept of the kind of relationships us city-dwellers are celebrating. I'm here to find love and companionship from a boyfriend, partner or husband. He's looking for "one on one friends' and 'buddies.'

Oh my, we've still got so much work to do in this state.

A loser, or not? You decide!

So, I'm out tonight getting my drink on, and an old friend happens by with two of the finest men I have ever seen. I mean, masturbation material for weeks. I stop to check out the situation, because these guys have not visited Queer Minneapolis before. I would know, trust me.

Turns out, these guys are models for a certain journalist and his business partner's ventures into some nude modeling/porn. And they're 'straight' and from the 'burbs. Visiting the gay bar for the first time. But oh, so fucking hot.

One of them catches my eye and ASKS FOR MY PHONE NUMBER. His intentions are naive enough. He knows I go to a Big 10 university, and have access to hot women. But he specifically says, "I want to come back here (the gay club we're dancing in), but I don't know anyone to go with." I promptly supply my number.

I'm invited to an afterbar with the entire entourage, including the 'straight' boy who asks for my number. I'm stuck with the following options:

A. Go to the afterbar even though I'm too drunk to drive to St. Paul. Get arrested and a DWI.
B. Network my way to finding the 'straight' boy through mutual friends. Plan to get him drunk and take advantage of his naivety. Risk new boyfriend.
C. Go to the afterbar. Party all night. Get no action. Wake up late for work. Risk my job.
D. Go home. Masturbate over 'straight' boy. Go to sleep and wake up on time for work.
E. Go to the afterbar. Seduce the 'straight' boy. Risk losing new boyfriend.
F. Go home. Kick my own ass for not persuing the 'straight' boy. Quietly cry myself to sleep.

Which situation best describes me?

Armistead Maupin

I had the pleasure of attending a lecture tonight by Armistead Maupin, author of Tales of the City. I had just finished Tales of the City when I found out he was visiting the U of MN, so it was a fun coincidence that he was in town.

He was a great speaker, one of the best I've seen, and very funny. At one point he was discussing Hollywood and closted actors. He got into Rock Hudson and how so many actors continue to be closted. Maupin said, "It's preposterous to think that after Rock Hudson, the closet is gone from Hollywood. It's just being run by the Church of Scientology." That got a good chuckle from the audience, but you could tell Maupin is angry. The longer we stay closeted to anyone, the more the closet still stands for other people.

He also talked about how the AIDS crisis really gave mainstream media a template to talk about different sexualities. Whether that is good or bad, I agree that the AIDS crisis did get this country talking about sexuality, particularly homosexuality.

He also talked about his family and being raised in the south. When speaking about his father remarking about Maupin leading a "queer parade," Maupin said it's grand that his father has lived so long that "his epithets have come around to being politically correct." I loved this! I currently lead a very strong GLBT student group that uses 'queer' in it's name, and work at an agency that uses the word as well. It's fun to think that there are people still alive who try and use this word in a derogatory manner, while I've become so accustomed to it that I never give it a second thought.

It was a good show, and Maupin announced that he's got a new book deal based on the character Michael. It's not a continuation of Tales of the City, but uses the same character. It was fun to be at the first publc announcement for this new book.

Check out his site and his writing. His stuff is great fun.

Great new writing

Of the new blogs read recently, Tony Hoshaw's is one the most intelligent and well written I've seen. I couldn't even begin to write about the sociological and theological issues he tackles over there. In a post on religion, queer sexuality, and race, he makes the brilliant point all fundamentalists should take into account:

What I find terribly problematic—for those who argue the “sinfulness” of same-sex desire—is the fact that when Queers step out of the closet and begin to live as Queers—we begin a process that only serves to make us more healthy, creative, loving, and productive. If sin produces such results—may we all sin!

What a great way to look at the often confrontational attitude that many practicing Christians have towards same-sex desire. I mean, I KNEW this in the back of my mind, but hadn't sorted it out as a talking point.

One thing closely related to this point, and something I've observed in my work in public health is that risk-taking (unsafe sex, substance abuse, etc) lessens when a person sees themselves as part of a community which helps a person sustain self-esteem and provides support. During the coming out process many of us find that support along the way.

Intersection of faith, being gay, and HIV positive

The Strib has an interesting article about an HIV positive gay man at the 19 Bar who talks about Jesus to the patrons. It's nice to some real queer people stories in the Strib, instead of the general gay pride and gay marriage stuff that dominates most of the writings there.

Although, what's with that picture? The dude looks like an escaped convict!

I See Queer People

Here's a picture of mediocre celebrity, Kyan Douglas, at Boom! tonight. He's doing a thing with Cities 97 and the proceeds go to the agency I work for.

When I thanked him for coming to Minneapolis for only $15,000 to do a benefit appearance (my agency did not pay a cent! thank you to Cities 97), he gave me a nice pat on the ass. Hehe.

Late edit: Thanks to Paul for taking the photo. Be sure to check out his blog detailing his dislike for the Bush administration.

Saturday Gay Blogging

Court Says Dad Must Hide Gay Lifestyle. A father goes to jail for telling his son he's gay. Happened in the South, no offense to Southerners, but why am I not shocked? via Amorous Propensities.

Conservative Group Admits to Twisting Gay Marriage Poll. That's not a very christian thing to do, now is it?

Gay Student Drops Out After Harassment. via Bill and Kent's Place of the Web

Gay.com

I am a gay.com chatter. I admit it. It's out there.

What's the buzz? Who uses these chat rooms? What does it all mean? Tonight, we'll delve into the world of the homosexual chat rooms!

Cybersluts: An eleventh-avenue-south Wednesday Night Exposé

Homosexuals, or gays as they(we) choose to be called, often frequent chat rooms in search of sexual intercourse, and occasionally love. To clear up some confusion, I'll decode gay.com users and hopefully impart some wisdom.

The out-of-towner has a hotel room ready and waiting for your hot bod! It's a time for him to experience the exotic gay underworld without leaving the hotel room. Possibly married, probably not out at work, this guy keeps the front desk night shift gossiping for hours.

The closet guy insists he's bisexual, and is technically correct if he's married or has a girlfriend. He'll be gay in a few years, but in the mean time he wants discrete fun with straight acting, non-gay gay men.

The self-hating homo is also allergic to feminine acting men. He insists that "being gay doesn't run my life," and "I don't get why we need to push our lifestyle onto other people."

The depressed guy is ugly, and he knows it. He is always putting himself down in a desperate attempt to get someone to give him a pity fuck.

The cyberslut has no face, only a penis or ass. Dicksize is mandatory in stats.

The jock thinks he's a jock for the (questionable) sex appeal of the word jock. In real life he's a couch potato-pansy.

The abercrombie-zombie thinks they'll get laid because they have abercrombie or [insert brand name here] in their nickname. Boring. Unless they professionally model for [insert brand name here]. Only a fool would be interested in their shopping habits.

The masseur is nothing more than an escort which is a fancy name for a sex-worker. Professional masseurs neither advertise dick-size, nor search for clients in a chat room.

The gay.com hater hates gay.com, but spends much time in gay.com telling everyone how much it sucks. It's like people who hate eating shit, but talk about hating eating shit with their mouths full of shit.

The torso is a typing torso. There is no head and no legs, because the abs and pecs of the torso are this person's best quality.

The 'I'm too good for you, but looking for a date' guy is looking for a guy who is within 2 years of his own age, professional, masculine, down-to-earth, drama-free, height-weight proportional, etc., ect., etc. He lists many qualifications which are not likely to exist in the real world, let alone a chat room. (I'll admit to being this kind of chatter)

That's a brief look into the exciting world of gay.com chatting. Look for more sweeping generalizations and misplaced cultural criticisms on the next Wednesday Night Exposé.

I found this pamphlet at work today. How gross is this?

"What is molluscum contagiosum?

Molluscum contagiosum (molluscum) is caused by a virus. It is spread through direct skin-to-skin contact. In adults, it is most often sexually transmitted. Molluscum appears as bumps on the skin that can be flesh-colored, clear, pink, or yellow. These bumps usually contain a cheese-like material. The bumps are commonly found in the pelvic area, around the vagina, on the penis, on the thighs, around the anus, and on the buttocks. Usually there are 15-20 bumps but there may be 1-100, or more."

I am never eating cheese again. From now on, it's a vegan diet all they way.

Queer Eye for me

So, the word is out and I hinted at it here. I (and my 2 co-workers) will be doing a PR/Fundraising event with Queer Eye For the Straight Guy cast member Kyan Douglas at Boom! on January 17th from 7-9pm. Tickets will be on sale soon (for a great cause!) and I'll take lots of pictures for those who cannot make it. I better trim my nosehair, yo!

Hot gay man comin' to town

I just got word that I (and my co-workers) will be doing a PR/Fundraising event this month with a very attractive, mediocre gay celebrity! Oh my! I'm so kind of excited.

Faith Based National Parks?

The National Park Service is considering removing scenes from gay rights, reproductive rights, and peace demonstrations from a video shown at the Lincoln memorial. In the place of these scenes will be Promise Keeper rallies and pro-war demonstrations.

In addition, the Grand Canyon will now have plaques with bible verses and the bookstore will sell creation based books explaining that the Grand Canyon was created a mere couple of thousand years ago.

Faith Based parks or freedom of religion?

Look Quick!

The American Family Association, an anti-gay organization, has a poll up asking whether Americans favor gay marriage, don't favor gay marriage, or favor civil unions. Right now the results are:
46.22% legalization of homosexual marriage and "civil unions."
46.34% legalization of homosexual marriage.
7.44% "civil union" with the full benefits of marriage except for the name.

A huge internet response has been underway at Metafilter, Livejournal, and in blogdom. Talk about the 'law of unintended consequences'. I really doubt AFA thought this would happen.

Gay marriage

What about gay divorce? Iowa has just granted a gay divorce.

A&F Cancelled

The party is over for y'all who sit home on Saturday night jackin' it to Abercrombie & Fitch catalogues. They will be discontinuing it after pressure from fundamentalist prudes. I can't say I'm disappointed myself, but I do emphathize with my gay compadres who will have to settle for XY magazine in order to fulfull those twink fantasies.

GLBT Youth Grant

Minneapolis has received a grant of $167,000 to to reduce violence against GLBT homeless youth. Yeah!

via Southwest Journal.

Man admits spreading textually transmitted disease; outs himself as lesbosexual

"Yes, I go to the gym -- but only because it's the only club that will let me in in my lesbianwear." - Mark Simpson.

I think it's hilarious that he actually appologized for metrosexual. And I need to see the episode of South Park when the guys from Queer Eye turn the whole town into metrosexuals.

I myself am a lesbosexual.

Shut up and say 'I do'

Mark Morford's rant made me spit my coffee at keyboard -- twice.

Here's another gem:

Get pissed off people. We could be in for another 4 years of BushCo bullshit if you don't.

huh?

When did this become a 'what's wrong with the MN Daily' blog?

In the words of my roommate: "You need to do less thinkin' and more drinkin'" Anyone for cocktails?

Last Night

I was a little wasted last night, but I stand by my version of the letter even if the differences are subtle.

Along the same lines, the Minnesota Daily is once again printing hate speech in the name of freedom of the press. It makes me wonder if these editorials were about other groups of people, if they would even think of printing it, i.e. women, jews, people of color. I understand it's hard to make the comparison, but let's face it: being queer is a large part of many people's identity, myself included.

On a positive note, here's an article mentioning and quoting yours truly.

Update: If you'll scroll to the end of the article, the Minnesota Daily was 'fair and balanced' enough to include comments from a fundie Christian. Isn't the article about celebrating coming out? Why include fundie Christian garbage.

Remember earlier this week when I was so pissed off?

Here is the editorial exactly as I had written it:

In response to Lindsay Brown's October 10th editorial, "Bible clearly forbids homosexuality," I and my fellow members of the Queer Student Cultural Center would like to invite you to celebrate National Coming Out Week with us from October 13th to October 18th. National Coming Out Week is a great opportunity for the University community to learn more about who we are as GLBT students.

The tone of Brown's editorial is a great example of why the QSCC exists. GLBT students are often confronted by a myriad of disparaging remarks such as "homosexuals will burn in hell," as was implied in Brown's writing. Occasionally, these remarks are joined with discrimination and even violence against GLBT students.

Many of these negative beliefs stem from the idea that the difference between GLBT students and straight students is sexual behavior. Sexual behavior is a part of human relationships. It complements love, commitment, respect, friendship, thoughtfulness, and affection, which are all found in abundance in straight and GLBT relationships. An argument pertaining to the 'morality' of homosexuality that does not include these things, but narrowly focuses on sexual behavior, can not be seen as accurate.

Students face many pressures from homework to paying bills to dating and relationships. GLBT students also deal with these everyday issues, but also have to deal with the stresses of harassment, rejection by friends and family, and hearing messages suggesting eternal damnation. The QSCC provides a safe space for students to escape negative messages, such as Brown's, and the associated stresses that can at times be overwhelming. Our doors are open to any students who need a safe space or are concerned about the climate on campus for GLBT students.

Andy Birkey
Co-chair, Queer Student Cultural Center

Here is the edit, courtesy the Minnesota Daily (scroll down please).

Mine is better. My punctuation, choice of vocabulary, and choice of paragraph breaks make the point. I don't need a fucking editor, I know how to fucking write.

Sex in the shrubs

This is so old news, at least for me anyway. I have an intimate experience with places where men cruise for sex. Why? Not because I'm really slutty and outdoorsy, silly.

I'm an outreach worker. Specifically, I deal with HIV prevention. I go where the sex happens, and boy does the sex happen in Maple Grove.

I love this part of the "I-Team" report:

"Leaders in the gay community strongly oppose sex in public places, and have spent years addressing that kind of risky behavior."

What leaders? Nobody contacted me, and I'm pretty sure my leadership roles in GLBT organizations around town qualify me as a "leader in the gay community." What has anyone done to address this issue? On my nights out there I haven't seen HRC or OutFront peddling their 'no sex in the bushes handouts' ($40 suggested donation please). In fact, I can find no mention of public sex on either of their websites.

"In St. Paul, police say they are taking an aggressive approach."

They should try the Maple Grove approach! It is commonly known by the men who frequent the area that one of the officers from the MGPD or State Patrol (the rumors conflict on this one) actually frequents the area looking for sex when not on duty.

Maybe instead of handing people citations we could work on making the world a little more comfortable for GLBT folks. The closeted married men and the gay men who indulge them probably wouldn't be there if they weren't 'closeted married men and the gay men who indulge them.'

As this article suggests, the problem will move somewhere else. More tax dollars will be spent and more implicity homophobic "I-Team" reports will be produced to shock and amaze the housewives in Edina until this government stops its rediculous ideological policies.

What a fucking bigot!

Check out the editorial in the Minnesota Daily today.

I haven't had my coffee yet, and I'm already pissed off.

Hmmm...Mr. Brown is a music performance major. Can he say, 'repressed?'

The Attack of the Ex

Happy Hour was fun. I got to see a few people I haven't seen in a while....and I didn't have to work. That pretty much kicked ass. I have the whole weekend off.

While I was getting wasted with peeps I haven't got wasted with in quite a while, an old boyfriend showed up. This guy was/is amazing and probably will be amazing to me for a long time. When we broke up, I was devastated. Of course at the time, I was still naive and thought "It must be something wrong with me."

I owe a lot to that situation, because I learned about my own independence and self reliance in spite of it. I was really, really into this guy, but at that point it became clear to me that I had been waiting for a guy, any guy, or anyone to validate my existence, instead of owning my own skills, accomplishments, and qualities. I quit trying to please people for what I thought they would like about me and started owning the stuff about my life that I thought was important.

So tonight when he told me I was the best, and that I was great in bed, and that he just was immature at that point, I said "you damn right." It was more than vindication. It was realizing how much a hurtful situation actually made me a better person. I'll love him forever for that.

Drunken Astrology

Gay.com has alcohoroscopes. Alcohol + Horoscopes, get it?

The one for my sign is pretty right on. Although I rarely order something noone has ever heard of, I do love a dirty martini.

Men. Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.

I've been contemplating my status as a single gay man over the past few days.

I have a cycle. Since I started any serious attempt at dating, way back in the fall of 2000, I have had a series of semi-serious 3-6 month relationships. Each of which occured between the months of September and May. I have never had a summer boyfriend-slash-romance (with the exception of the first guy I ever dated, but that's a whole different thing). I have no idea why.

But it gets me thinking about the guys in Minnesota. The following are a few (stoned) observations.

"Group Thang": There is a tendancy for the men in this city to go to the bar in groups of 4-6. The groups never separate, unless one of them has to pee. This makes it very difficult to hit on someone. Not only are you hitting on the guy, but you are also hitting on his friends to a certain degree.

"The land of 10,000 bottoms": So many bottoms. It may be fact, it may be fiction, but I've noticed that MANY men here identify as bottoms. Which makes it fortunate to be a top. Not that I'm a top or a bottom, such distinctions are beneath me.

"The newbies": Basically, there are too many "I'm butcher-than-thou" types moving in from Northwoods and the Dakotas. These guys are overly butch, very horny, and really ignorant. They tend to be very afraid of any guy who isn't their version of 'masculine'. Each time I run into one I run right back the way I came. Overcompensating with hyper-masculine behavior is so transparent and such a turn off.

I dunno, maybe i'm too high.

PS This bag of cheddar cheese kettle chips is empty.

The Fauxhawk

Is it true? Could the Midwest really be a year behind when it comes to fashion and style?

I found proof at the homo bar tonight. The fauxhawk is in right now (I counted 18 of 'em tonight), and it's sooooo last year.

PS. I have absolutely no sense of style or fashion. Take that for what it's worth.